Let Us At Last Praise The Colonizers Of Dreams

I spoke with two of my exs yeaterday. It was the day of the ex. I spent time with the present girl yesterday too. She keeps trying to get information about her christmas gifts. I finally let it slip that i have seven small gifts, five larger gifts, and one very special one. I am sure she will like it all, but they aren't very special. Some of it she needs, some she wants, and the other is something she will enjoy. I keep trying to push her off track by telling her "i hope it survives to christmas" and whatnot. I don't think she really wants to know completely. I'm sure some of her wants to though. And i keep telling her she is going to ruin christmas, but i don't believe that. She has got me something. Actually she said two items. I told her like i told everyone, "i don't need anything." I am truthful when i say that. I am not like some people who say that and are then upset when they don't get anything. Most of the people around me don't have the expenses to spare, and i don't want them to feel they need to buy me anything.

Humans are weird creatures. Emotions are crazy things. I often feel i might be able to live life easier without emotions. Without being angry, sad, and hurt like we humans are a lot. But without emotions we also lose love, joy, and happiness. Not a far trade i would say. Though before a couple months ago i would have been all for it. Now i won't let go of my emotions for the world. Because i am finally using them.