A bullet to the sun. Erase everything we have done.

I have come to find out that quite a few people read my blog. I was surprised only cause i don't think i am that entertaining. But clearly i am wrong. It is okay though. If i put something on the internet i should think that everyone is reading it. Because everyone has access to it. But i am still sure there are more important and interesting things people could be reading. Like this.

Life gets real difficult some times. My friend has just lost his grandmother. I know most people aren't really close to their grandparents, i'm not sure if he was either. But death is never easy to deal with. I don't ever want to deal with it again, but i'm sure it will happen. I know the angel of death is trying to break me. If he only knew i am already broken. I don't know if i can be fixed. Don't get me wrong, i don't want to change the past. I don't think that would fix anything. My life hasn't been the best, but it made me who i am. Not that i am completely thrilled with that, i don't want that to change either. I guess i don't know what i want. I should say i just want to be happy, but that is almost an unreachable goal and i fear if i do fear if i become happy it will only be taken away from me again. I think i would rather do without than to lose it again. I think i just have a negative view on life. There is someone who is changing my opinion slowly.

Here is an away message a friend of mine posted on her AIM. I really liked it and thought i would share with you guys:

"Insanity. That moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes a blur and the only thing that remains in focus is you and this person. And you realize that this special someone is the only person you want to kiss. Ever. But it's so out of character. And it scares you. But then you realize what an amazing gift has been given to you and you wanna laugh, and you wanna cry... because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that it'll go away all at the same time."